Category Archives: mindset

Why Emotional Decisions Aren’t Always Bad

Okay, listen up guys. I don’t say this often but here goes…

I was wrong.

Well, maybe not completely wrong. But a little wrong.

You see, I’ve written a lot in the past about why letting emotions guide you in the decision-making process is a dangerous thing. I, like the rest of the world, have been trained to believe that emotional decisions almost always lead to disaster.

“Calm down,” people say. “Don’t make a decision while you’re feeling emotional.”

Logic, we’re told, is the key to rational decision-making. Use your head, not your heart.

Only, the problem is, that’s not entirely true. Emotions aren’t just there to distract us. They have a purpose, and a rather important one at that.

Ignoring your emotions or simply “setting them aside” while you intellectually evaluate a problem means you could be missing a critical message from your subconscious brain.

I’m currently listening to an audiobook called “How We Decide,” by Jonah Lehrer. In it, he talks about the psychological pathways that lead us to make good (or bad) decisions.

Emotions, he says, can be a great source of intuition. Sometimes, your brain is able to connect the dots of the information it receives in a way that is so subtle it’s actually not even understandable by the conscious brain. The brain can see patterns we aren’t even aware of. Often, this information is translated into a “feeling.”

Let’s say you’ve just received an offer for a new job and you have a gut feeling that it’s not the right thing for you. When you set aside the emotion and just look at the facts, you see no reason to decline the offer. After all, it pays well, it’s close to home, it has all the elements you said you were looking for. And yet, something just feels off.

That feeling could be your body’s way of telling you there’s a problem. Perhaps your subconscious brain has picked up on signals you missed. Maybe it sensed patterns that matched dissatisfying past job experiences.

On paper, everything might look perfect. But, just because you can’t see it or understand it or explain it, doesn’t mean your brain isn’t picking up on real evidence that this is the wrong fit.

Feelings can be red flags telling you to sit up and pay attention. Don’t discredit them just because they aren’t supported by the kind of “logic” you’re familiar with. The brain is a powerful thing. And feelings ultimately come from the brain.

Now, I’m not saying that you can set aside facts and solely rely on your gut. That’s just silly. But I do believe that emotions can and should play a role in decision-making. And that’s where I’ve been wrong. I’ve long advocated that rational, unemotional, intellectual evaluation is the best path to making a good decision. The evidence in “How We Decide” proves that isn’t always the case.

Photo Credit: Blizz (Flickr)




Shoot for the Moon

Here’s a little bit of trivia about me you probably didn’t know: I was the senior speaker at my high school graduation ceremony. Now, let me be clear: I went to a very small, independent study high school where most of the students attended just one day of class per week. The ceremony was actually held in the parking lot. So I’m not bragging here. I wasn’t valedictorian, though I did graduate with honors. I was actually selected to be senior speaker by the students and the faculty, which—for me—is even better than if I had been chosen for my grades.

So, why do bring this up? Because I wanted to share a quote from my graduation speech. It’s one that still inspires me to this day.

In everything you do, shoot for the moon. Because even if you miss, at least you’re among the stars.

I’m not sure who said this or where it came from. I don’t even remember the first time I heard it. But the words were so powerful; they’ve stayed with me for decades now.

The other day, I was reminded of this quote while interviewing Dick Bolles, the author of What Color Is Your Parachute? (By the way, if you missed it, you can listen to it here.)

During our conversation, while discussing the concept of searching for your “dream job,” Mr. Bolles said the following:

You have to start with the largest vision of what you really, really, really want to do with your life so that if you only get 60 percent of that, you’ve gotten far, far more than if you started with a vision that you hacked down in the name of supposed reality.

How often do you find yourself aiming low because it’s more “realistic”? What are you perhaps missing out on because of that? What if you aimed higher? What if, dare I say it, you aimed for the very top? Even if fell short, would you not possibly end up better off in the long run?

Sometimes, it feels safer and easier to keep your hopes in check. Why try for something that seems so far out of reach? This kind of thinking only limits what you’re capable of. It doesn’t challenge you. It doesn’t inspire you. And it forces you to play small.

So, as I told my graduating class back in 1996, shoot for the moon. Whether you’re looking for your next job, your next home or your next mate. Aim for the dream. You might not get it, but then again…you just might.




Career Fulfillment Starts With Belief

This time of year, it’s always fun to play along with the whole “Santa Claus” thing. Yes, Virginia, he’s real and he’s awesome! Belief is a powerful, magical thing. Why throw that away just because we’ve grown up? Why should children get to have all the holiday fun?

So much in life begins with belief. In your heart, in your mind…you have to believe before magic is possible.

Career fulfillment is no different. It always shocks me when I speak with people who tell me they want desperately to find a career they love, a career that fills them with a sense of satisfaction and maybe even happiness. And then, in the next breath, they tell me they aren’t even sure if it’s possible.

What?! How on earth can you expect to find something you don’t believe in? It reminds me of the movie “The Last Unicorn,” one of my favorite childhood cartoons. Some people, upon looking at the beautiful unicorn, simply see an ordinary mare because they’ve trained themselves not to believe. Only the people who truly believe she exists are able to see her in all of her magical glory. The others are fooled. They’re blind to what’s right there in front of them.

If you don’t believe career fulfillment is real—if you don’t honestly think you can and will find it—you won’t see the opportunities that surround you. They only appear when you really believe. But they’re there, I promise you!

Your mind has an amazing ability to shape the reality you see. What you look for, you find. That doesn’t mean belief is the ONLY step in finding career fulfillment; it’s just the first, most critical and often neglected step.

So if you’re fighting to believe, let me suggest this: Go to the mall. Watch the children as they wait in line to talk to Santa. Remember what it feels like to believe anything is possible—even the idea that a fat man from the North Pole might drop down your chimney with toys. Remember the sense of awe and joy and wonder that comes with experiencing true magic.

As adults, we get jaded. We let the dark, cold reality of life wear us down. But what does that get us? What might be different if we approached life with that childlike sense of belief? What if we allowed ourselves to be open to new and amazing things we’ve never before heard of and we don’t really understand? What if we simply said, “Okay! I believe!”

What then?

Our world would change.

So embrace the spirit of the season. Believe in something you’ve given up on—whether it’s the possibility of career fulfillment or finding a soul mate or becoming a millionaire.

Entertain the idea that it’s possible.

See what changes.

Photo Credit: Premier-photo.com (Flickr)




What Are You Missing?

This article is the seventh in a 10-part series on the topic of overcoming career-limiting habits.

When I was a kid, my mom used to sing a song that went something like this:

“Lookin’ down at a hole in my sneaker…I nearly missed a rainbow…I nearly missed a sunset…”

Do you remember this song? I just discovered it was originally from an episode of Sesame Street—a Google search turned up this page with the words if you’re interested.

Anyway, I bring this up because it’s a useful concept for today’s article discussing the next career-limiting habit in our series. We’re discussing the habit of “short-term focus”—number seven on the list.

When I think of someone with short-term focus, I remember this song.

In today’s busy workplace, I know it can be easy to get sucked into the short-term, day-to-day stuff—your annoying commute, your growing to-do list, your impending deadline, etc. These things sap your mental energy from morning to night. But you simply can’t get so wrapped up in the “here and now” that you forget to lift your head and look out at the horizon once in a while.

When you’re busy looking down, that’s when things are missed.

Why Long-Term Focus Matters

Long-term focus goes hand-in-hand with “big picture perspective.” These skills allow you to understand the bigger game. Without them, you’ve got tunnel vision.

By looking up and out, you’re perspective shifts. You become more aware of the bigger needs of the organization now and in the future. You more clearly understand your role in its success.

Even more importantly, you’re able to be proactive–to actively manage what’s coming at you rather than simply reacting in the moment to what’s right in front of you. This is, in my opinion, the one skill the separates average employees from outstanding ones.

Long-term focus also helps ensure you’re better prepared for what’s next. Companies are always changing and evolving. In order to stay relevant, you must be right there with them, at every step along the way. Otherwise, you may get left behind.

How to Shift Your Gaze

Take off the blinders and stop looking down. Look up. Gaze out to the horizon. Here are a few tips to help you do so:

1. Know Your Industry

Almost every industry has a magazine, association or website where up-to-date information can be found regarding trends. Sign up or join right away. Get to know how your industry has grown in the past and where experts are predicting it will go in the future. What challenges are facing your industry? What opportunities are there? How will these things potentially impact you and your company? Stay informed.

2. Know Your Company

The same thing goes for your company. Read the company reports and newsletters. Talk to executives when you have the opportunity. Find out what challenges and opportunities are coming your way. The more you know, the better prepared you’ll be.

3. Know Yourself

Of course, you don’t want to neglect yourself in all of this. Long-term focus applies to your career goals as well. Where do you want to be in five years? What about ten years? How can your work today help support these goals? What opportunities or challenges may come up along the way? How can you get the most out of your current experience to enhance your opportunities and minimize your challenges?

4. “What’s Next?”

Always ask yourself this question. How does the task you’re working on today change or evolve in the future? How does it impact the next phase of the project? What can be done today to make tomorrow better, more efficient, more profitable, more successful? Look several steps ahead of where you are.

I still find myself singing that Sesame Street song once in a while. And it’s a great reminder that looking down at the road beneath your feet can mean you miss out on the big stuff happening all around you. Keep this metaphor in mind as you shift your gaze and overcome the career-limiting habit of “short-term focus.”

Photo Credit: Jaqian (Flickr)




How to Have a Positive Attitude at Work (While Still Being Yourself)

This article is the fifth in a 10-part series on the topic of overcoming career-limiting habits.

My former co-worker (let’s call her “Ruth”) always saw the negative in everything. When an idea was presented, she was the first one to say, “That won’t work.” Fair enough. But she never offered alternatives. She never looked for solutions. She never, ever gave anything or anyone the benefit of the doubt. Ruth was an absolute nightmare to work with.

I understand that some people are just naturally more positive than others. And I truly believe that every operation works best when there are a wide variety of personalities in the mix. But negativity for its own sake rarely serves a purpose. And people who can’t demonstrate a positive “can do” attitude in the workplace are truly damaging their career future.

In a recent survey, negative attitude was listed as the fifth most common career limiting habit. Not surprising. Who wants to work with a sour puss? What company wants to reward (i.e., promote) that kind of behavior? Negative people, at best, stay put. At worst, they’re shown the door.

Why Attitude Matters

You may be thinking, “What’s the big deal? I’m just being honest. I have to voice my opinions and be myself. I don’t do the fake stuff.”

That’s fine. No one’s asking you to fake it…much. The workplace is a living, breathing organism and everyone impacts it. Your negative attitude can bring down the entire thing. It’s as contagious as an airborne virus.

Now, let me also be clear: Voicing a dissenting opinion, speaking assertively and saying “no” are not inherently negative. You can—and should—embrace your individuality and your professional power. But your delivery has a huge impact. Done in the wrong way, these things can certainly appear negative.

There are, however, a few simple strategies to keep in mind that will help you demonstrate a positive attitude, while still being yourself in the workplace:

Smile

It’s amazing how powerful a smile can be. It actually changes your brain chemistry. Even if you don’t feel like it, try to smile regularly throughout the day. Others will respond to you more favorably and you’ll naturally feel more positive.

Seek Solutions

Negative people see obstacles. Positive people look for solutions. Instead of pointing out a challenge and waving the white flag of surrender, approach it like a puzzle. How can we turn the situation around? How can we fix the problem? How can we make this work? It’s fine to be skeptical, but bring your own ideas to the table as well.

Remain Professional

Negativity comes from a place of emotion: Frustration, anger, disappointment, etc. Do your best to set these feelings aside. The workplace is a professional environment—it’s your responsibility to act professionally. That means using tact and diplomacy, stating facts before feelings, and finding ways to get the job done—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Respect the Team

Negativity sucks the energy from those around you. Give your team members the respect they deserve. Even if you aren’t feeling particularly positive, focus on the bigger picture. You’re a part of the team and your attitude matters. A little effort goes a long way.

Negativity is like a boomerang: It always comes back to you. Likewise, the more you project a positive attitude, the more positivity will come your way. You don’t have to pretend to be someone else. Just recognize the powerful force that is your attitude, and use it to your advantage.

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