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Giving Thanks for Adversity

Written on November 23, 2011 by Chrissy Scivicque in personal

I’ll be honest: It’s been a rough year. I’m not complaining…it’s been a great year, too. Lots of good, but lots of not-so-good at the same time.

Thanksgiving is about celebrating abundance. And let’s not forget that abundance comes in all flavors. When it rains, it pours. The blessings, the struggles…they come in waves, don’t they?

It’s hard to find something to be thankful for when adversity is all around you. This year especially, I know a lot of people are feeling this way. The challenges we face can sometimes appear to outweigh everything else.

But here’s what I’ve been thinking: Adversity is actually a blessing.

It’s only through adversity that we discover our strength. When we face our challenges head on, whether we tackle them with grace and poise or end up clumsily falling into the depths of sorrow and frustration, we eventually come out the other side. And, when all is said and done, we’re better and stronger for having gone through it.

In those moments of struggle, we see what we’re made of. We glimpse the essence of who we really are.

Sometimes, we surprise ourselves. Sometimes, we’re painfully disappointed.

But it’s always a worthwhile exploration. That’s what it is to discover.

And in discovery, there is always growth.

I feel like I grew a lot this year.

So this Thanksgiving, I suggest, give thanks for your struggles. Recognize that the challenges you face are gifts—invitations to explore a deeper side of yourself.

Give thanks for unanswered prayers and mistakes you’ve made.

Be thankful for the opportunities you’ve been given to grow, and learn, and discover more about who you are and what you’re capable of.

And remember: It’s the hard times that make the good ones so special.

I hope your holiday is full of ease, and love, and pure unobstructed joy.

And turkey.

And stuffing.

And pie, too.

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Tags: personal, travel, update

Life In Progress

Written on November 8, 2011 by Chrissy Scivicque in personal

I wanted to take just a minute to update all of you about what’s been going on around here because I haven’t had a chance to write a new blog post in several weeks. You see…life has kind of…gotten in the way. For those of you who don’t know, I’ve been in the process of relocating from Atlanta, GA to Denver, CO. Yes, that’s a huge move. 1380 miles…give or take.

I’ve done the cross-country move thing before, when I moved to Atlanta from the California bay area over three years ago. If you’ve never done it before, I assure you: a move like this is tough. There’s just a ton of planning involved. And this time, I actually drove with my dog instead of having my car shipped. We spent four days on the road, going through Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, a little more Texas, New Mexico and finally Colorado.

We arrived here exactly a week ago today. I can tell you that the drive itself was pretty straightforward. I listened to two full audiobooks (including The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, which I loved). And though Mollie, my yorkie-poo, was a great traveling companion, we were definitely ready to get off the road when the time came.

My two cats, thankfully, were shipped here (for their sanity and mine) so we’ve all been reunited at this point. Of course, life is never as simple as you’d like it to be…and moving cross-country is no exception. Turns out my furniture won’t arrive until sometime next week (fingers crossed) so I’ve been camping out at my parent’s house.

Yes, you read that right. I’m a 33-year-old woman, living and working from my parent’s basement. While it might sound rather drab, I’m actually enjoying my time here thoroughly. It’s nice to be in the presence of family and, heck, I’m eating better than I have in years! Life carries on, even in the midst of chaos.

So, all of this is to say, I’ve been busy. And aside from the physical craziness of the move, there’s been a lot of emotional craziness as well. I suffered a few massive anxiety attacks prior to the drive out here. I wasn’t sleeping well, or eating right, or thinking straight. Anyone who’s moved recently surely knows what I’m talking about. Thankfully, things seem to be getting better now. I’m relaxing and easing into life in snow-country. Even though things are still in transition for a while, I feel much more sane these days.

Now, some of you may know that I never like to share a personal story without providing a lesson for you, dear reader. So, in this case, I offer the following:

1. Don’t be afraid to call on your loved ones when you need help. I know I couldn’t have made it here without my family supporting me at every step along the way. The people who love you will always be there…but they don’t always know how or when you need them. So speak up. Ask for what you need, and you shall receive.

2. Lean into the chaos when it appears…because it will. The more you fight it, the crazier you feel. Remember: This too shall pass. Change is the sum of chaos and opportunity. Embrace both equally.

3. Give yourself room to recover. I haven’t written on this blog (or even thought about it, honestly) for several weeks, and I’m okay with that. I needed this time. And I might need a little more in the coming weeks. I’m not beating myself up about it.

4. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. This is a lesson I’m reminding myself of everyday. It’s easy, when times are hard and you feel overwhelmed, to crumble and just say, “I can’t do this!” But you can. You really, really can. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I’ll update you all again soon. Until then, please feel free to enjoy some of my older posts on the blog. In case you didn’t realize it, you can see a list of every past article by visiting this page. Enjoy!

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Tags: career transition, personal

The Importance of Celebrating

Written on March 4, 2011 by Chrissy Scivicque in personal

You may have noticed that it’s been a little quiet around here. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been going through a pretty big transition. At this point, things are starting to slow down and life should (hopefully) return to normal (or some semblance of) before long. So look out for more frequent blog posts in the near future.

For now, though, I wanted to share a little bit about what I’ve been doing and what I’ve learned recently. As many of you already know, I’ve been very fortunate in my career. Several years ago, another website I created was purchased by a company called OfficeArrow and, in the process, I was hired to be the Managing Editor there. This was an amazing opportunity and one that truly changed my life in more ways than I can count.

However, we all continue growing and, at some point, I realized that OfficeArrow and I were growing in different directions. It wasn’t anyone’s fault…it was just a fact. I wanted to spend more time coaching and writing, but my role as Managing Editor at a demanding start-up company meant my days were full with a variety of “other” tasks. I was starting to feel that my true passions weren’t being honored and I knew something had to change.

To make this long story a little shorter, I’ll jump ahead. I’ve been slowly transitioning out of the company for nearly a year. I cut my hours, began training others on how to do my tasks, and started focusing on building my coaching clientele. I also continued growing my freelance work. All in all, I made the conscious decision to let go of what wasn’t working. That doesn’t mean it was easy or that I didn’t question my choice many times. But I put a plan in place and followed it.

This week, I had my official “last day” working with OfficeArrow. And while it wasn’t a particularly emotional experience, it was a significant step in my career. It was kind of like saying “goodbye” to an era, and “hello” to many new, exciting opportunities.

So here I am — in a good place, albeit a slightly scary one. Change, no matter how well you prepare for it, always brings a certain amount of fear. I’m okay with that. I’m working through it.

This transition I’m going through is the result of attaining a big career goal. I’ve released something that was no longer serving me in order to embrace things that are better aligned with who I am and what I want. And this is worth celebrating. I have to remind myself that it’s okay to take some time to simply sit back and breathe and recognize my achievement. This is what I’m learning. I don’t need to just move on to the next thing.

Many of us have trouble relaxing long enough to realize how far we’ve come. We’re always looking ahead, setting new goals and continuing the path of progress. In some ways, it becomes an obsession. We build up momentum and the idea of slowing down starts to seem like such a waste.

This was the mentality that gripped me earlier this week. I crossed “OfficeArrow” off my proverbial list and started thinking about the next thing I wanted to attack. But really, that’s not fair. I need to celebrate. I need to grab a lounge chair and sit in the sunshine for a while. I need to NOT tackle my to-do list.

Celebrating our achievements can be hard. We’re trained to be humble and shake off praise with modesty and humility. But there’s value in celebration. Taking the time to reflect and rejoice in the moment is a gift we deserve. So I’m taking that time.

I’m asking you to celebrate with me today. Not for me, but with me. Celebrate YOUR accomplishments. Throw a party in honor of all things you’ve done that brought you here, because wherever you are, it took effort. Give yourself a hearty pat on the back and don’t listen to The Saboteur when he says, “It was nothing.” Your work, your time, your energy—they all matter. You’re here because of your actions. Buy yourself a cupcake at lunch. Take yourself to a movie tonight. Whatever you do, no matter how big or how small, just celebrate.

You have permission to bask in your own glory, today and every day.

Photo Credit: ewan traveler (Flickr)

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Tags: attitude, mindset, motivation

On the Selling of Souls: Where Do YOU Draw the Line?

Written on October 12, 2010 by Chrissy Scivicque in motivation, personal

A good friend of mine once told me that every soul is for sale. He said it’s just the way the world works, that we do what we can to stay whole but sooner or later, we let pieces of ourselves go in exchange for what we need. It’s a matter of survival, he said.

His is a cynical view of the world but, after years of reflection, I think he’s right.

To get ahead, we all have to make sacrifices. We give up on one thing in order to gain another. Some sacrifices are small; others much larger. We let dreams die in order to put food on the table. We bend our ethical beliefs in order to achieve the next great thing. We let go of who we are to become who we think we need to be. And often, we don’t know we’ve gone too far until we look in the mirror and hardly recognize the person staring back.

A new friend recently asked me where I draw the line and the question overwhelmed me at first. If sacrifices are an expected part of life, how do you know when a sacrifice is too big? Or, a more heartbreaking version of the same question might be, what part of the soul is expendable?

The question has weighed on me for days. The idealistic side of me wants to shout from the rooftops that every piece of my soul is sacred. I want to demand that who I am is non-negotiable and the world must simply adapt. But my realistic side, the one who keeps a budget and manages deadlines and wants to please her clients, knows that compromise is the name of the game. I’ve already quieted pieces of my soul, strangled them to nothing more than a whisper. I’ve done so in exchange for things I deemed of higher value: freedom, love and yes, even money. There have been times when a piece of my soul seemed such a small price to pay.

And yet, I know my limit. There is a point at which I will no longer sacrifice. It can only be described as a feeling. It exists so vividly in my mind, so clearly that it almost scares me to describe. I’ve been there. I’ve given too much and had to take it back. I’ve collected scattered pieces of my soul, taped them together like a torn photo, and tried to make them whole again. It doesn’t work, I tell you. You can find most of it right where you left it. But it’s never the same. You are never the same. The pieces don’t fit together perfectly. There are fragments forever missing. And those little cracks…they are the lines we draw for ourselves, the ones we learn to never cross again. They are reminders of what it really means to sacrifice too much.

I do believe even the most righteous person would trade a piece of his soul in exchange for the right gift: a kiss from a distant lover, a moment with his buried father, a chance to live a dream. There is a price for every soul. As much as you may hate to hear it or think it, I believe even you would be willing to give up everything you believe in for that certain something.

It is your duty, as the protector of your soul, to make wise choices. No one can tell you where the line lives. You must be ruthless in your negotiation. Confront the reality that exists within you. Be not deceived by idealistic notions. Yes, your soul is precious. But you’re not a bad person should you cross that line once in a while. Just take a step back, pick up the pieces, and figure out what it’s all worth to you.

Photo Credit: Alesa Dam (Flickr)

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Tags: personal, stress, workbook

Celebrate My Mom’s Birthday with a FREE Copy of My Stress Management Workbook

Written on August 12, 2010 by Chrissy Scivicque in personal

Today is my beautiful mother’s birthday and I’m a bit sad that I’m too far away to take her to dinner or something. Instead, I have to celebrate with her over the phone. Don’t feel too sorry for her though…She’s surrounded by loving family in Colorado. As for me, I’m surrounded by…well…you! The fabulous Eat Your Career community to the rescue!

To help celebrate my mom’s birthday, I’m giving away FIVE copies of my Stress Management Workbook for FREE. Why? Because my mother is the queen of NO STRESS. She is an eternal optimist and a true believer that how you think impacts how you feel. She is the perfect example of a person who consciously makes a decision to wake up each day and smile. She’s an inspiration for me and the reason I’ve had the courage to live my life on my terms…which includes starting this blog and writing this e-workbook. So what better way to celebrate her than to spread the NO STRESS philosophy?

How do you get one of these FIVE FREE workbooks? Just leave a comment wishing my mother a happy birthday! On Monday (August 16), I’ll take the names of all the people who’ve entered, throw them in the randomizer, and pick five lucky peeps. If you’re a winner, I’ll deliver your Stress Management Workbook directly to your email inbox right away…no strings attached.

Happy birthday, Mom! I love you!

Photo Credit: Bookgrl

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