Tag Archive: networking


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How to Start a Mentorship Relationship Today

In my work as a career coach, I find there are several helpful resources that very few people take advantage of. Mentorship definitely falls on this list. It’s really a shame. Having a mentor can elevate your professional capabilities exponentially. And—added bonus—mentors are amazing people. When you take the time to develop a strong mentorship relationship, you get access to a wealth of knowledge and experience, but you also end up with a lifelong friend and potential future business partner. In short, there’s no downside.

Of course, if you aren’t familiar with the concept, you may have questions about how it all works. Well, that’s what I’m here for!! Please allow me to offer some insights.

What Exactly Is a Mentor?

A mentor is a more experienced (typically older) professional in your field who offers you career guidance, advice and assistance from a real world point-of-view. Pretty simple, huh?

Why Should I Bother?

As mentioned above, mentorship offers a host of amazing benefits. A good mentor is wise and willing to share his or her knowledge and experiences in order to help you succeed. It’s like having a wonderful trusted ally to go to whenever you’re feeling unsure or in need of support. They can help you set and achieve career goals, make smart business decisions, overcome workplace challenges, learn new skills or simply offer an outside perspective when you’re facing frustrations at work. The benefits are truly endless.

When Should I Get a Mentor?

Mentors are helpful regardless of where you are in your career. Whether you’re fresh out of college or a few years from retirement, there are always others who have “been there, done that” from whom you can learn. So no matter who you are, I always say, “NOW is a great time to start.”

If/when you’re more experienced, you may want to BE a mentor. Please do so!! It’s an incredibly fulfilling experience and I believe that mentors learn just as much as those they assist. But I encourage everyone to also find a mentor of your own. As humans, we’re always learning and evolving, and even the most experienced professional doesn’t know everything.

More than likely, the mentorship relationships of experienced professionals will not look the same as those who are entry-level or mid-career. You may have a mentor who is closer in age and experience—or even someone who is your junior! As long as the person has qualities and knowledge you can learn from, it’s perfectly acceptable.

Who Should Be My Mentor?

This is a big question and I recommend you take some time to think it over carefully. The choice of person makes a big difference in the success of the relationship and, ultimately, in YOUR success. Look for someone you respect professionally and someone who has a career you’d like to emulate. That doesn’t mean you want to follow in their footsteps exactly; you’re just looking for a person who has had success in your field (or even a similar one) and someone who embodies the professional characteristics you’re working to achieve.

Of course, you also need to find someone who is willing to be a mentor, is eager to share knowledge, will be open and honest with you, will have time to dedicate to you (though how much is flexible) and is trustworthy. You’ll be potentially sharing a lot of sensitive information so this last point is essential.

Lastly, I recommend that you look for someone you like on a personal level, not just a professional one. You should look forward to spending time with your mentor. The conversations should be pleasant, engaging and inspiring.

How Does the Mentorship Relationship Work?

Establish specifics around your relationship in whatever way works best for both you and your mentor. It can be a formal arrangement, an informal one or something in the middle. No matter what, it has to work for both of you. To get started, I recommend that you, as the mentee, come up with your “ideal” relationship. Share the information with your mentor and make sure you leave it open for discussion. Find out how much time they are willing to invest and build a schedule based on that.

For example, my first mentorship relationship was rather informal. My mentor and I would meet via phone about once a month (usually for an hour) and in between these conversations, we would communicate via email. I would send work to him when I needed a quick critique. He would send me links of articles to read when he stumbled upon something I might learn from. When I was facing a challenge, I’d check in with him for a little guidance and reassurance that I was doing the right thing. A few times a year, he’d send me a book in the mail. It was an easy relationship for both of us to keep up with, but I got tremendous benefit from it.

The key to success is simply defining the relationship from the beginning. Make it an open dialogue. Ask for what you want and need from your mentor, be willing to compromise, and listen closely to make sure there is agreement. Be sure to clarify your expectations (specifically around things like confidentiality). You don’t want there to be any confusion.

Lastly, let your mentor know that you see this as an ongoing process. If, at any time, the relationship isn’t working for either one of you, the details can and should be reviewed and revised. This doesn’t have to be stressful like a contract negotiation. Remember, it’s supposed to be a fun, growth experience!

What’s In It For Them?

You’re probably reading all of this thinking, “I get why I should want a mentor. But what’s in it for the them?” Good question. And the answer is different for everyone.

Some mentors simply believe in the person they are helping and want to see him or her succeed, and that alone is worth the time and energy. Others look at mentorship as a way of leaving a legacy. As a mentor, you get to pass your wisdom down to the next generation. You have the power to make a huge difference in your industry, your company and even the world.

In truth, some mentors just like the challenge. They like to talk about what they know and their experiences. It’s fun when someone looks up to you. It kind of feeds the ego.

So there are all kinds of reasons mentors do what they do. It’s a win-win situation.

I hope I’ve inspired you to start a mentorship relationship today. And if I failed to address an important question, please post it in the comments below. I’ll be happy to continue chatting about this!!

A new resource…

I also wanted to share a quick note about a new resource that’s available for developing mentorship relationships. A friend of mine has created a new networking site called Why Do You Do? It’s centered around the idea that “why” you do your work is more important that what you do or how you do it. I love the concept and, though the site is still new and will continue to evolve in the future, I think it has a lot of promise. Sign up now for free and connect with other professionals just like you.

Photo Credit: Bernzilla (Flickr)







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Bad Career Advice: It’s Not WHAT You Know, It’s WHO You Know

Speed NetworkingThis is post is part of my Bad Career Advice series in which I expose outdated, clichéd, and counterproductive advice for exactly what it is.

This is perhaps one of the most frequently repeated pieces of bad career advice that exists. So, if it’s now what you know and it’s all who you know, why bother learning anything at all? Instead of attending classes while at college, we might as well focus all of our energy on the parties (clearly, some of us do that already…). But, if what you know doesn’t really matter, why do people make such a big deal about getting a college degree? Why go through the hassle of building a resume? Why not simply send a copy of your address book to prospective employers?

Why It Doesn’t Work

Clearly, I’m being a little facetious…but the problem with this kind of advice is that it places an unfair burden on your network. It supposes that your friends and family will be willing and able to open more doors for you than your own expertise. The truth is, what you know and who you know BOTH matter. Neither one works as well without the other; you have to leverage what you know and who you know to create opportunities for yourself.

The people in your network certainly want to help you grow professionally but not at their own expense. Even the most altruistic person will still want to protect his or her own interests. So you have to bring the goods. What you know matters. If you don’t have the ability to do the job, your friends and family can’t in good conscience advocate for you. By doing so, they’d put their own reputation on the line. If you don’t know enough to do the job and do it well on your own, your network can’t make opportunities appear for you.

Having the ability and having the network are just the beginning. The other critical component is knowing how to effectively leverage both of these things.

Leveraging Your Network

Just because you have a large and powerful network, doesn’t mean you can sit back, relax and let the opportunities flow. You have to do your part—reach out to people, ask for favors and return favors, be specific when you ask for things, know what you want your friend to do for you and the end result you’re looking for.

Leveraging Your Knowledge

Knowledge alone doesn’t do anyone any good. You need to create demonstrable proof of your abilities. Get out into the world and use your skills. If you’re not using your full potential in your current professional role, you need to find another way to do so. Join a professional organization and volunteer for a committee or run for a position on the board. Start a side business and put your skills to work that way. Don’t let what you know remain hidden. The more you show your abilities, the more opportunities will present themselves.

So don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the favors others can do for you are more important than your own abilities. You have everything you need to be successful, with or without your network. Yes, having people who are willing to help you grow professionally certainly makes a difference. But they have to be willing. Don’t ask your network to create opportunities that you can’t appropriately take advantage of due to lack of knowledge.

Photo Credit: Richard-G (Flickr)







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Bad Career Advice: It’s Not Personal, It’s Business

This is post is part of my Bad Career Advice series in which I expose outdated, clichéd, and counterproductive advice for exactly what it is.

I blame Donald Trump for a great many things but let me also be clear: I have mucho respecto for the Trumpster. I mean, it isn’t just any man that can pull off that hair. And The Apprentice? Stroke of genius.
He also popularized “You’re fired!” which is easily the most annoying, over-used catchphrase to ever hit the water cooler. Which is a feat, albeit an irritating one.

But I place blame squarely on The Donald for promoting at least one ridiculously bad piece of career advice. I’m referring, of course, to his frequently repeated mantra, “It’s not personal; it’s business.” In my opinion, this is a completely absurd notion. Unless you work inside a vacuum with robots and not people. In which case, I’d love to visit your workplace sometime. Call me.

I have to assume that the vast majority of my readership indeed does NOT work with artificial intelligence. And thus, the idea that business is not personal has no place in the modern business environment.

Why It Doesn’t Work

This whole philosophy was designed to distance people from taking responsibility for their actions and how they affect others. It’s basically the equivalent of saying, “No offense” after hurling an insult. Of course it’s offensive! Telling me not to be offended doesn’t make it less so.

The idea that business isn’t personal simply provides justification for treating people poorly in the workplace. It attempts to devalue human interaction and the result is counter-productive. People who aren’t treated well inevitably won’t stick around. An article written by Jim Welch appeared in Workplace magazine, March 2008 and stated definitively that “the number one reason people leave jobs is because they fail to connect with their bosses as leaders and as people.”

As a former manager of mine used to say, “People don’t quit jobs, they quit people.” They quit because nothing is personal; it’s all business. You can’t pretend that the human connection is unimportant and you can’t use business as an excuse for personal failings.

This kind of separation mentality has bled throughout the business world.  In the name of “business,” all manner of ethical and moral transgressions can be absolved. Environmental pollution? No offense! Fudging the numbers? No big deal. It’s just business. I don’t have to take any personal responsibility for my actions.

This is a dangerous slippery slope to say the least.

The Alternative

Yes, there are times when tough decisions have to be made in the business world. But pretending that those decisions aren’t personal, that they won’t impact people in a very real way, is delusional. All business is personal. Businesses don’t operate inside a bubble. They’re a part of our society and a part of our communities. There are human consequences for business decisions. We must take this into account in the decision-making process, not simply ignore it.

This doesn’t mean you can’t or won’t ever have to make those hard decisions, liking having to fire someone. It just means that you’ll do so with empathy and compassion. You’ll recognize that the appropriate course of action for the business is one that will greatly impact the livelihood of the person. It certainly isn’t as easy as simply disconnecting yourself, but it’s the more responsible approach. And sometimes, allowing for this realization will inspire creative solutions. When real people are affected by an action, that action is more carefully evaluated. Alternatives are more thoroughly weighed.

Donald Trump is obviously a successful man. It would appear that his philosophy has worked well for him. But I’m not truly convinced that he believes his own words. I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time someone put on an act for the cameras. After all, his persona IS his business, which means for him, business is quite personal indeed.

Photo Credit: The Rochester Canine Playgroup (Flickr)

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